alternate version of reality

As I am pulling out a spare outfit for daycare for Andrew...
"I not wear that today."
"I know buddy, we are just bringing this in case you need to change clothes.  If you pee in your pants."
"I not pee in my pants.  I potty trained."
"Well you peed in your pants yesterday."
"No.  I not do that.  I potty trained." 

Oh Andrew, I admire your confidence and and wish I could create my own alternate version of reality just like you. 

Similar to a conversation I had with my husband.

(I will preface this by saying that Kevin did take off work to take me to the doctor and postpone a business trip due to me being sick.  And he sent me flowers for our anniversary.  He is an awesome husband.  Seriously.  But this one I couldn't resist.)

I had to go to the doctor for nausea and dehydration.  They gave me an IV and some zofran (asked if I was familiar with it - hilarious).  They sent me home and told me to drink lots of fluids and eat sugary things like jello.  So on the way home Kevin ran into the store to get jello. 

"Hey Kevin.  This is sugar free jello you bought."
"Huh?"
"Well remember the doctor said I need to eat things with a lot of sugar?"
"Yeah.  Well they don't make jello with sugar.  It is all sugar free."

Oh Kevin, I admire your confidence and wish I could create my own alternate version of reality just like you.

I would also like to note that I was at the doctor on our 8th wedding anniversary.  The IV took about 45 minutes to administer.  We were in our own room.  They turned off the overhead lights and just had the lamp on that they use to do pelvic exams.  So it was actually quite romantic.  Well, it would have had a chance of being romantic if we weren't just on our phones the whole time.